‘It’s Your Rampant Misogyny, Homie’: Dad Pens Breakup Letter to Rap Music
A father has penned an open letter in which he declares he is breaking up with rap music.
Mike Heenan has two daughters, or as he explains, “two centers of the universe.” Though his oldest daughter is only 3, he says it’s time that he and rap music part ways.
In a blog post, Heenan writes:
I am breaking up with you, Rap Music, and it's not you, it's me. And it's also, kind of, you.
It's your rampant misogyny, homie. It is an epidemic. Your unapologetic sexism is a scourge on an otherwise exceptional cultural phenomenon. A movement I used to wear proudly on the sleeve of my Turbo/Ozone parachute suit while spinning on my back on the cardboard refrigerator boxes my mom brought home for the neighborhood kids to krush grooves and bust a move on. But the game has changed. Since falling headspins-over-heelkicks for the love of my life, that life is no longer about "getting my freak on." And since becoming a SAHD of daughters, cash no longer "rules everything around me." Frozen does. Dora does.
And to all the young suitors who will undoubtedly cross my daughters' paths, I will have you know a few things:
- I don't care if it's her birthday or "yo birfday"; "shawty" will not be "go go going" anywhere but the jumpy house in our own backyard, for now, and if you choose to forgo "Happy Birthday" for crooning about your "Magic Stick," you'd better be the guy in the Gandalf getup passing goodies out to the party-goers. My girls are golden, and must be cherished accordingly.
- You will NOT be "making it rain" around my girls unless you are a sprinkler technician. No offense to the woman that do it for art or necessity, but there will be no pole dancing in this family unless it is this kind. My girls are pillars of spirit and character and must be endeared accordingly.
- And when my girls grow into those bright beacons of kindness and compassion that I know they will be and the suitors undoubtedly come a-knockin, just know that my daughters will NOT be "riding dirty" with you. Especially if you are "on that good kush and alcohol," in which case they will NOT be one of your "down b*thes [you] can call." My girls shine and must be appreciated accordingly.
The "Fox and Friends" hosts weighed in on the letter. Listen to what they had to say in the video above, and sound off in the comments below!