Should Alpha Women Pair Up with ‘Beta’ Men?
One expert says alpha women should pair up with a “beta male” husband, someone who is less ambitious and perhaps makes less money.
Dr. Sonya Rhodes, author of “The Alpha Woman Meets Her Match: How Today's Strong Women Can Find Love and Happiness Without Settling,” says that “marrying down” could lead to a happier couple.
In an article in the Wall Street Journal, Rhodes wrote:
For most strong, successful women, the alpha male of old isn't the best match. I have seen in my practice what happens when two dominant personalities engage in power struggles: The alpha male will assume that his priorities should dominate, while the alpha woman will assert hers. These are the most difficult duos to treat.
Over the past 30 years, says Stephanie Coontz, director of public education at the Council on Contemporary Families at the University of Chicago, "egalitarian values have become increasingly important to relationship success." Confident, dominant women need collaborative partners more than they need traditional breadwinners. They need men who aren't threatened by their strength and will support their goals.
These men are secure enough to follow as well as lead. They value partnership, parenting and pulling their own weight. They work but aren't workaholics. The problem is family members and friends who sometimes devalue such men because they don't adhere to traditional standards of masculinity—standards that should no longer apply.
What high-achieving women need are men strong enough to support their achievements, contribute to the household in services and/or money, and be loving partners. A strong woman will reap the benefit of this kind of respectful, responsible beta man; he will be more flexible, more nurturing and more willing to share the responsibilities of family life.
Fox News’ Ainsley Earhardt said she disagrees with Rhodes.
“I don’t agree with that because I think if you are driven, you’ve gotta find a partner who feels and acts and believes the same message that you do and wants to show that to your children,” she said. Earhardt said it’s not about finding a wealthy man, but about pairing up with a man who has a strong work ethic and is a good person who wants to make a difference in the lives of others.
According to the Pew Research Center, 24 percent of women in the U.S. earn more than their husbands. More women than men are completing college and graduate school. Analysis by Reach Advisors found that single, childless women under 30 in most U.S. cities make more than their male peers.
Do you think alpha women should couple up with beta men? Let us know in the comments below!