The Five co-host Greg Gutfeld offered up a guide to surviving Super Bowl parties, whether you’re the host or a guest.

“Now if you’re throwing a party with anything less than a 19-inch screen, it better be in jail. Don’t wear a jersey – you’re a grown man with responsibilities. It’s just weird at this point … Celery is for rabbits and inmates; leave the vegetable platter for the school play.”

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Gutfeld says attendees should bring more food than they’re going to eat. “And if you’re on a health kick, suck it up or go to yoga instead.”

Watch the video above to hear his full monologue and the others hosts’ reactions!

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