Greg Gutfeld tonight sounded off on St. Patrick’s Day revelers – “a shouting, staggering throng of incoherence” – who were already drunk by this afternoon.

“Today, adults called in sick so they can get sick on my shoes,” he quipped. “I won’t even say what they’re doing behind parked cars, but let’s just say there are facilities for that.”

Gutfeld called it a blasphemy against alcohol.

“Drinking heavily for one day is not an achievement,” he said. “No, drinking moderately and calmly over a lifetime – that's the goal worth shooting for.”

Gutfeld said he salutes St. Patrick’s Day, but added that the New York City parade “shouldn’t be an excuse for amateurs to defile my doorway.”

“I can do that on my own, thank you very much,” he said.

Watch more above.